Here’s a great photo by our friend, Sarah Gainer, taken at one of the most epic weddings of all time! Many thanks to Todd and Jules for including us. What a wonderful weekend!
Love this family! Can’t believe I’ve know Tasha since she was Isa’s age. My thoughts exactly echoed above.
Friends Todd and Juliana got married this past weekend in Central PA where we all grew up. “This is the best wedding,” was spoken in resounding chorus throughout the day on the farm. I don’t think I’ve processed the the weekend just yet; neither mentally nor the thousands of photos that were taken. Shooting a wedding always helps me cry a bit less but also makes me disengage myself a little from the event.
During the ceremony, Todd’s friend Julie read an excerpt from a letter written by one of Todd’s favorite author’s, John Steinbeck, that he wrote to his son after he (the son) told his father that he was in love for the first time. I might not have immediately remembered who wrote or read (whoops) the excerpt but it stuck with me more than anything else the whole day. I share it with you now. Thank you, Todd and Julie, for passing this along.
" First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.
But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.
And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.”
A few days ago, I deactivated my Facebook account. I’ve been on Facebook since 2005? 2006? Who knows. I’m not leaving forever but I need to be away. I need to be away from a lot of things that, unfortunately, can’t and won’t go away so easily. It was a small step that in the end might not mean much or be long-lasting. I got an email today from a site called Storyworth, which allows family members to connect and share stories of the past. My mother has been writing wonderful responses to various prompts that have been sent to me and these have been the highlights of my week as of late. When I received the email today, the first thing I wanted to do was share it; then I remembered what I’m trying to do; what I need to do. This piece is very personal but also something so universal. It somehow feels alright to post this and maybe it will help…even a little:
(This entry is kind of “philosophical” rather than narrative and rather talky, but very important to me in the way I view the world.)
I believe both. I believe that people do change, definitely, as they go through life and have different experiences, relationships, losses, successes, disappointments and challenges which can bring changes in perspective as they mature. I also believe that people remain who they are intrinsically on some level, though the ways in which consciousness, will, health, age and stage of life can all combine to change behaviors, expectations, and satisfactions.
I just heard a dear friend say today that she is not the same person she was 9 months ago before she learned of her husband’s grave illness, cared for him, lost him, memorialized him and grieves for him while continuing in her life. On some level, this is true. She certainly cannot behave the same way she did, does not feel the same way she did, does not have the same outlook or expectations she had before that day. Different individuals experience themselves in different ways. She expresses feeling like she is a different person. I tend to experience myself as the same person in whom different aspects may overtake other aspects at critical times. At those times I may not have access to the overtaken aspects. But I tend to feel I’m still me.
As a Dance Therapist I believe that we never fully lose our issues but through gaining insight and totally acknowledging and safely expressing our often problematic feelings we can recognize long standing patterns and influence the degree to which they affect current behaviors, attitudes and relationships.
I also believe that through greater understanding of how vast and complicated experience is, of how much joy and misery, abundance and deprivation, hope and despair, possibility and limitation our lives can contain we can begin to be able to hold these contradictory and opposite elements simultaneously rather than separately as black/white or either/or.
I also believe in the serendipitous possibility of a person, idea, event, connection, awareness, knowledge presenting itself at a time that makes a seemingly impossible change of perspective possible which can encourage a change of behavior, action or choice. I don’t believe this is absolutely always given, but that it is always a possibility.
(Sorry, Mom. I hope it’s ok that I share this. I love you).
Google is trying to tell me something.
Living in New York City is like no where else. Sometimes I am on the subway during a particularly horrific commute and wonder to myself, “Why am I doing this? No one anywhere else puts themselves through something like this every single day.” I’ve spoken with friends and always come up with the same answer: “Because it’s New York City.” There’s no where else I’d rather be at this point in my life (other than London but that’s a whole different can) and I’ve been very lucky in many ways thus far.
In 2011 I left beloved south Brooklyn and moved to Greenpoint. The apartment was an amazing deal and I was getting to live alone for the first time in New York. How many people can say they’ve done that? (How many people without a trust fund at least). Sure, my apartment didn’t have floors (just unfinished plywood) and I had to pay over a thousand dollars to install my own window gates, but I have been smitten with this place since I first saw it.
One of the first things I did upon moving in was install IKEA flooring in the kitchen. As reasonable as IKEA may be, flooring is expensive, and with the cost of paying someone to install it (believe me, you need someone to install it), I was in no position financially to install flooring in every room. Being that kitchens involve food, and food is gross and falls places, I felt like it should take priority. After speaking with my contractor, I decided I could swing re-tiling the bathroom at the same time, which was in a pretty bad state.
I could speak for hours on the home improvements that went on, but the point is that a year and a half later, operation floor refresh was complete. My boyfriend Ben moved in with me and finally we were financially able to pay for flooring in the rest of the apartment. Throughout this process many people told me I was crazy to put so much work and money into a rental. They’d always ask, “Did your landlord have you take it out of your rent?” I became more resentful each time this came up and finally realized why. Design aesthetic has always been important to me and home has been just as much so. With the money I’m saving by living in this deal of an apartment (and believe me, it is a deal even by other city standards), I am happily able to put some of that money into making my house feel more like a home. Sure, I’m not likely to stay here forever, but even after two years, I can say it’s been worth the craziness, the renovations, and yes, even the paint in my hair. xx
*I have to add a thank you to Ben for staying sane when I insisted we paint my bright turquoise bedroom (he had yet to move in) peach over the course of one night. Last week I decided I want to change to white. I think I’m on my own on this one.
A New Toy and Lots of Pop
Last week I made the largest, most adult purchase ever and upgraded up D300S with a D600. I’m going full frame! I’ve been terrified the entire time from spending lots of my savings to learning all new muscle memory since Nikon has decided to change button placement on every model. I took the new camera (and new lenses) out on Sunday as Ben and I had tickets to NYC Popfest at Littlefield. We caught quite a few bands but my reason for going was to see the cutest band that ever lived called Alpaca Sports. The band doesn’t even have an album out yet but the song “I Was Running" will be in your head forever.
If this is anything more than a misplaced Onion article, I’m going to be very upset.
Don’t mind me. Is this confusing for you?
Cody, the screaming dog, pretty much shares my physical and emotional pain today.
Sometimes, actually almost all the time, I think that the people I know are way too awesome and I shrink away in their awesomeness. In a situation such as this, It’s important to share the awesome-osity with you. Todd Bieber, you are awesomest for helping Abbi Jacobson, whom I’m sure is awesome too, discover the sender of this 70 year-old lost letter.
Hey internet. A letter from Lt. Joseph O. Matthews was delivered to my friend Abbi’s apartment nearly 70 years after it was sent. It was addressed to Mrs. Joseph O Matthews. We’re now trying to find the intended receiver or their relatives and finally deliver the letter. Watch the video, check out what I’ve learned so far, and join in the search. If you find anything, contact us on Facebook or our website or post it on twitter using the hashtag #lostletterproject
It’s been like basically forever. So much so that I basically have given this up entirely. To celebrate the Yahoo/Tumblr deal, what better to post than the new internet sensation from the one and only Erin Bradley. Erin has added Park Slope Family Circus to her list of already rad achievements.
It’s been so long since I posted anything that I hardly could navigate the slightly altered look of Tumblr. I’m now a verified Pinterest user, which is where I am most of the time these days so find me there under @Sarah Bibi. Perhaps I’ll find my way back here soon.
I should probably stop reading Rachel Eakley’s Tumblr.
Last night Sinkane rocked Brooklyn Bowl’s Local X Local show with support from Pegasus Warning and Zongo Junction. It was a particularly special show as it also marked the band’s LP release. Click the link above for more of my pictures on Brooklyn Vegan. Can’t wait to see these guys get huge.
Shall We Slowdance?
As I mentioned in my previous post, I had been hearing the buzz about a local Brooklyn band called Slowdance throughout CMJ this year. I caught their set at the Inland Empire showcase at Union Pool on the final night of the marathon. I too, was enamored.